Make zero impact as you beg your boss not to fire you. Engage your passion by stealing everyone’s knick knacks from the empty cubicles around you. Realize that the only potential you now have is in your head. Around the world, the Lehman Brothers team is gone. Explore these pages to learn how a once promising career with us can evaporate into thin air, and find out how it feels to be forcibly removed by security guards from Lehman Brothers when you try to stab CEO Dick Fuld with a letter opener.
“When I first came to Lehman Brothers I wondered whose ass I had to kiss to get ahead at a big firm. I was a former strip club performer which meant I had a different background from most of my peers in the analyst program. I majored in Renaissance dancing in college and was terrible with numbers. After sleeping with the senior management of the firm, I was put in charge of Lehman's far-flung global bond trading operations. I lost $60 million dollars the first day on the job, but everyone loved my outfit. Now that I'm unemployed and can't afford a summer share in the Hamptons, I'm heading back to the strip club and practice my pole dancing.”
Kandi "Bazooka" Bradley
Analyst
Investment Management Division
Dartmouth College
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