Eternal Verities at Liars' Saloon in Montauk, NY

"YOU'VE PAID MORE FOR A LOT LESS."

Karaoke has a mecca and it's called Liars' Saloon in Montauk, NY. How can a local dive bar transform itself every Friday from 10 to 2 into a sacred East End temple of outstanding live entertainment? Ask DJ Jim and he'll tell you it's his banter. Ask J. Diddy and she'll tell you it's a great place to solicit votes for her insurgent Presidential campaign on the Reindeer ticket. Ask the local fishermen and they'll tell you to f$#k off. My guess: Everybody's a star late at night after you've had more than a few.

Like the Hamptons, the karaoke season at Liars' Saloon can be divided into two distinct halves: the summer where teeming masses of humanity means a dramatic increase in eye candy and wait time at the bar and the rest of the year where local rock star wannabes perform their hearts out for each other and the libations flow like water. In other words, the summer at Liars' Saloon karaoke night is for drooling over much younger women and or boy toys (depending on your preference) and the rest of the year is for mostly talented local singers who are a close-knit family to showcase their often prodigious talents to small, yet appreciative crowds.

Some memorable karaoke moments over the years: An 85-year-old lady comes on to me on the dance floor while I'm singing Billy Idol's "White Wedding." Shit, she looks exactly like Skeletor. DJ Jim says, "Go get her, He-Man"...After informing a good friend that Liar's Saloon is a sacred spot, he tells me, You've had too much to drink, loser. It's a freakin' bar!" A minute later, a man who's been with his girlfriend thirteen years gets on his knees and proposes marriage and she happily accepts... My first night at Liars' Saloon wherein I introduce myself to DJ Jim and he points out the girl who's not wearing any panties with her legs spread wide open: a la Sharon Stone, right in front of the D.J. console!... Is that fish I smell or is it the briny odor from the marina near by?... Or the time this summer when two hot young friendly babes party with my friend and I for two hours and they end our feeble attempts at "picking them up" when one utters, "You guys can really sing but you're old enough to be our fathers."

Priceless memories... countless hangovers... exceptional singers... people who can't carry a tune... nouveau rich and dead-broke blue collar folks. All differences are washed away when you come sing at Liars' Saloon in Montauk, NY. I know when I die and I find myself waiting on the outside of the gates of Heaven or Hell , depending on where I may land: (at this point it's a little too early to tell), the first words out of my mouth to the gatekeeper will be: "Anybody else from the Liars Saloon here? Cause we got some singin' to do!!!!!

A Local Writer.....