The CEO of Lehman Brothers Speaks...

Richard "Truly a Dick" Fuld, the CEO of defunct Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc., told employees in an internal memo that he feels ``horrible'' for what they have gone through during the events culminating in the firm's bankruptcy.

"'The past several months have been extraordinarily challenging, culminating in our bankruptcy filing,'" Fuld wrote in a memo distributed internally in Lehman. ``This has been very painful on all of you, both personally and financially. For this, I feel horrible.''

Dick Fuld is still worth roughly $200 million. And we all feel horrible about that.

Experience Lehman Brothers

Make zero impact as you beg your boss not to fire you. Engage your passion by stealing everyone’s knick knacks from the empty cubicles around you. Realize that the only potential you now have is in your head. Around the world, the Lehman Brothers team is gone. Explore these pages to learn how a once promising career with us can evaporate into thin air, and find out how it feels to be forcibly removed by security guards from Lehman Brothers when you try to stab CEO Dick Fuld with a letter opener.

“When I first came to Lehman Brothers I wondered whose ass I had to kiss to get ahead at a big firm. I was a former strip club performer which meant I had a different background from most of my peers in the analyst program. I majored in Renaissance dancing in college and was terrible with numbers. After sleeping with the senior management of the firm, I was put in charge of Lehman's far-flung global bond trading operations. I lost $60 million dollars the first day on the job, but everyone loved my outfit. Now that I'm unemployed and can't afford a summer share in the Hamptons, I'm heading back to the strip club and practice my pole dancing.”

Kandi "Bazooka" Bradley

Analyst

Investment Management Division

Dartmouth College