On Wednesday, January 7, 2009, I was at the Hess station in Watermill, NY when I witnessed first hand the tragic effects of this deep and painful recession. A woman distracted the clerk while her husband helped himself to a few cases of beer -- courtesy of the traditional five-finger discount. I followed the nervous pair outside and they bribed me with a cold guy, which I accepted readily.
They were heroes in my eyes...modern day Robin Hoods looking for a couple of free brewskies in a dark, barbaric era. Shit, if Barry Madoff could rip off $50 billion, wasn't Joe Six Pack entitled to his $26 theft?
Alas, the eyes of Big Brother nabbed Robin Singleton, 47, of East Quogue and her husband James Singleton, 48, also of East Quogue. The Bonnie & Clyde of Carbonation were arrested because of the omniscient Hess surveillance system. Next time I'm scratching my ass at Hess I'll give that camera the bird for Robin and Jim. Then, I'll go home and crack a silver bullet and toast your chutzpah and stupidity.
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