People on the East End who are enrolled in the Hip Health Plan or GHI medical insurance plan were given the grim news that they will no longer be welcome at Southampton Hospital or Peconic Bay Medical Center in Riverhead, NY.
Officials at both hospitals advised anxious residents to not get sick. Or, if they do fall prey to illness or injury, to contact a local witch doctor to arrange treatment. "Fear not, uninsured Hamptonites," said Bheka Nkosi, a Zulu Sangoma healer wearing the gallbladder of a goat in his hair. "First, I will summon your ancestors by dancing, chanting, and most importantly playing drums. In my trance state, they will reveal to me the appropriate treament."
HIP Health Plan and GHI executives welcomed the shaman and vowed to provide insurance coverage for his channelling, bone throws and dream interpretations. "Mr. Nkosi's rituals need to be a part of the health care reform discussion,” said Karen Quack, President and CEO America's Health Insurance Plans (AHIP), a national association that represents roughly 1,300 member companies that provide health insurance coverage. "Bheka's the future of medical care in this country and a key part of our strategy to work with all stakeholders to close the gap in the quality of health care nationwide.” If you are interested in using Nkosi as your primary care physician, residents are urged to contact HIP at 1-800-HIP-TALK and GHI customers can call 1-800-552-0103 where they will hear a pre-recorded message saying,"Ngiyabonga (thank you)."
