Neighbors on North Main Street in East Hampton, NY filed a lawsuit against themselves because, in their own words, "we are guilty of the ultimate crime: being year-round Hamptons residents." Lawsuits are a sad fact of life in the U.S., especially in the moneyed Hamptons where high-priced attorneys are a dime a dozen and every decision anyone makes out here one winds up in court. Lawsuits have replaced handshakes as the preferred way to do business and socialize on the East End.
The strange suit was filed in New York State Supreme Court and even jaded lawyers were surprised that the litigants were asserting their rights at...themselves. "Maybe they haven't sued anybody in a while and they were feeling left out," commented Jon Vomit, another useless East Hampton attorney who is planning to build yet another new office near East Hampton. "While America goes down the tubes, lawyers, like some form of malignant cancer, thrive and strangle common sense and decency. Kill one, and another three pop up. I'm just glad I got my law degree online through Phoenix University."
