At a sparsely attended press conference, Southampton and East Hampton Town Police announced the creation of a new Hamptons sport called Utility Pole Ramming. The first participant in this new East End adrenaline rush was a black SUV that went off the road and slammed into a telephone pole on the north side of Montauk Highway, just west of the Hess station, in Wainscott, NY. The gutsy driver fled the scene before grateful police arrived, leaving the pole split, with the top hanging in tree branches.
The SUV was traveling west on Route 27 when it veered to the right and struck the utility pole, signaling the start of what's destined to become a popular local recreational pastime. Pedestrians cheered and camera crews and local officials were about to honor the camera-shy daredevil driver when he backed
up and sped off, continuing west toward Southampton Town. "Utility pole ramming is the wave of the future," Southampton Town Police Officer Mike Hunt gushed with enthusiasm. Hamptons local officials plan to expand the new Long Island-based sport in the summer months to include other stationary and non-stationary targets, with extra points and prizes to be given to local drivers who hit cityiots and other obnoxious out-of-towners.
